In all honesty, I am not looking forward to today’s performance.
Why?
Because I’ve encountered Maestro Rattle five times previous to this afternoon, on…
Day 15. Rating: “Meh!”
Day 33. Rating: “Meh!”
Day 51. Rating: “Meh!”
Day 69. Rating: “Meh!”
Day 87. Rating: “Meh!”
And the results are a perfect score of “Meh!” ratings.
And I’d bet the farm that today’s performance will be no different.
But I’ll take one for the team and soldier on.
Today, I listen to English conductor Simon Rattle (1955- ), Wiener Philharmoniker, and Beethoven’s Symphony No. 6 in F major.
Beethoven wrote his symphonies in four parts (except for the Sixth, which is in five). The time breakdown of this particular one (Symphony No. 6 in F major), from this particular conductor (Rattle, at 47) and this particular orchestra (Weiner Philharmonker), at this particular time in history (April 29-May 17, 2002) on this particular record label (Warner Classics) is as follows:
I. Allegro ma non troppo………………………………………..12:36
“Awakening of cheerful feelings upon arrival in the country”
II. Andante molto mosso………………………………………..12:20
“Scene by the brook”
III. Allegro…………………………………………………………………5:24
“Merry gathering of country folk”
IV. Allegro…………………………………………………………………..4:00
“Thunderstorm”
V. Allegretto……………………………………………………………..10:20
“Shepherd’s song: Happy and thankful feelings after the storm”
Total running time: 44:00
My Rating:
Recording quality: 3 (just okay, not remarkable; seems a little muffled)
Overall musicianship: 3 (unbelievably inane, overlong, and not engaging)
CD liner notes: 3 (one essay about Beethoven in English, German, and French; nothing about Rattle)
How does this make me feel: 3 (“Meh!”)
The first minute or two of Movement I held out promise. I liked the way it was recorded.
But Simon Rattle mangled my favorite melody in all of Beethoven-hood.
The gorgeous, profound, moving melody that appears in Movement I (here, at 11:02-11:20 or so) sounds totally unlike the melody I’ve heard from 15 previous conductors. It was so unrecognizable that I almost stopped right there and shut this crap off.
And that’s just plain unforgivable.
I can’t tell what was wrong with Rattle’s interpretation of my favorite melody. (Should I render that My. Favorite. Melody.?) Extra notes? Recorded in a funny way? The wrong instruments? Something didn’t sound right. Not only was it not moving, it was a bloody crime.
I was sorely tempted to scream “Next!” and get on to George Szell.
Believe me, I’m not fan of George Szell, either. So that would be like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.
Fighting off the urge to poke out my eardrums with pencils, I allowed the recording to continue.
Movement II was better than Movement I. I’ll grant Sir Simon that. But that’s like saying the Civil War was better than World War II.
Still, I soldiered on…
Movement III (“Merry gathering of country folk”) needed to be a rollicking, ass-kicking performance to make up for the injustice suffered in Movement I.
It’s not.
I’m not hearing rollicking. I’m hearing another lugubrious song that makes me want to fall asleep.
I don’t know if Maestro Rattle’s orchestras are tired when they record, or if his personality stifles their energy. But every song seems sleepy, sapped of energy. Like how you feel after Thanksgiving dinner. You just wanna snooze.
That might account for the longer running times, too. These movements seem stretched out.
To be fair, Movement IV (“Thunderstorm”) is uncharacteristically dynamic. But I’m not sure even Sir Simon could have made a thunderstorm boring.
Movement V…blah, blah, blah.
Can I stop taking one for the team now?
I can’t take any more of this.
“Meh!”
Double “Meh!”